


Much Ado About SHIELD

by bluecinderella4



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-25 20:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4974508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecinderella4/pseuds/bluecinderella4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" SHIELD style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

When Hunter entered the lounge area, he made a scoff of displeasure at his ex-wife. "I know reading might seem like a foreign concept to you Hunter," Bobbi began, "but some people actually enjoy it. There are some blondes who do like to read, thank you very much."

"It's a play disguised as a book," Hunter felt the need to observe.

"It's Shakespeare."

"It's not really reading Shakespeare if ya got modern translation on the side. I see the _Sparknotes_ logo, Bob."

"Well if you'll pardon me for not being British."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"British people know Shakespeare." Hunter made a disagreeable noise. "Yes, they grow up with it. It's part of their high school curriculum and the majority of dramatic productions both in and out of school."

"That's not necessarily true."

Bobbi turned in her chair to the resident science duo working on a project behind her. "Fitz, Simmons," in perfect synchronization, they paused their project to look up at her, "a love scene between _Romeo and Juliet_ that's not the balcony one, go."

Simmons didn't even need to take a moment before turning to Fitz. "Act one scene five; their first lines together?"

"Alright," they simultaneously rose to their feet and proceeded to perform. "That's the hand one, right?"

"Yes, Fitz."

"The one that leads into the uh…the kissing?"

"We're trying to prove a point, Fitz. You start."

"Right, yeah, got it," he took Simmons' hand.

" _If I profane with my unworthiest hand_  
_This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:_  
 _My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand_  
 _To smooth that rough touch with a tender a kiss"_

" _Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,_  
_Which mannerly devotion shows in this,_  
 _For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,_  
 _And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."_

" _Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"_

" _Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."_

" _O, then dear saint, let lips do what hands do.  
They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."_

" _Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."_

" _Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take."_ In the moment, they kissed. " _Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged."_

" _Then have my lips the sin that they have took."_

" _Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!  
Give me my sin again."_

Another kiss. _"You kiss by th' book."_

"Uh, Jem," Fitz had broken an awkward pause, "I think that's it."

"You're supposed to end the scene _before_ you break character. You performed this play, you know that."

Daisy seemed intrigued by that last part. "Fitz, you were in _Romeo and Juliet_ when you were in school?"

He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…" he blew out a breath, "…see it was a requirement, so-"

"Ain't nothin' to be ashamed about," Mack—another audience member—assured. "I was in drama club too."

Daisy seemed impressed. "So you were a wannabe actor?"

"I originally did crew work, but someone found my way center stage after accepting bit parts to fill out the cast. Good times, good people." Mack looked back at FitzSimmons, "and good job," he applauded them.

"Yeah," Daisy joined in the applauding. "Take a bow, guys." FitzSimmons shrugged at each other before bowing.

"See Turbo, nothing to be ashamed about."

"Unless you went to an all boys school," Fitz grumbled.

Mack had heard that. "Yikes."

"Yeah, a little less honorable now isn't it! For God's sake, I was Juliet!" Daisy couldn't help but snicker at that.

"Oh, honestly," Simmons admonished. "Young men played women's roles in Shakespeare's time only because women weren't allowed to; I don't see why Fitz has to be teased about it for being required to do so in today's society."

"Thank you, Jemma."

"For what it's worth: you make a wonderful Romeo as well."

"Only because I had a terrific Juliet."

"I'm sensing an off-stage romance," Daisy singsonged. FitzSimmons were both blushing as they sat back down and resumed work on their project. "Ooh, and spun off from one of the greatest love stories ever; how sweet."

Bobbi looked back at Hunter with a smirk on her face. "Anyway, that little acting display FitzSimmons did just proved that they're both British-"

"Scottish!" Fitz interrupted.

"-my bad; they're both _Europea_ n, and they both know Shakespeare."

"Well, they're classy," Hunter had a ready-made excuse, "all classy Brits know Shakespeare,"

" _Scottish_!" Fitz protested. "I'm bloody Scottish!"

However, Bobbi and Hunter seemed to have ignored him. "So what you're saying is Americans don't know Shakespeare?" Bobbi questioned back.

"You're the one implying most of Shakespeare's performances are done by Brits," Hunter thought he had her there.

Bobbi pointed to Mack. "And now, a scene from _Mack_ Beth."

Mack took that as a cue. He rose to his feet, cleared his throat, and recited,

" _Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,_  
_Creeps in this petty pace from day to day_  
 _To the last syllable of recorded time,_  
 _And all our yesterdays have lighted fools_  
 _The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!_  
 _Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player_  
 _That struts and frets his hour upon the stage_  
 _And then is heard no more. It is a tale_  
 _Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,_  
 _Signifying nothing."_

Bobbi turned to Hunter with a smirk. "Well…" Hunter was at a loss for words, "…that's one of the more popular monologues. Plus, he had just noted that he was in drama club. Even American actors learn Shakespeare."

This time, Bobbi directed her attention to Daisy. "Daisy, are you American?"

"I was born in China," Daisy pointed out.

"But you were raised in America?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you do any acting or were you in drama club?"

"No."

"Did you study Shakespeare?"

"Only in my high school English class."

"Hmm, you studied because it was a requirement. Do you remember what you've learned?"

"Well, I do remember something Shakespeare-y; I heard it on the end of a Mickey Mouse cartoon—the one where they spoof the Midsummer's Night Dream or whatever. They also did the same thing on _Animaniacs_." She noticed the looks she was getting. "I was a 90's kid, I was raised on cartoons; sue me."

"Ah, _Midsummer Night's Dream_ , that's Shakespeare. Do you remember anything from it?"

Daisy did remember something.

" _If we shadows have offended,_  
_Think but this, and all is mended-_  
 _That you have but slumbered here_  
 _While these visions did appear._  
 _And this weak and idle theme_  
 _No more yielding but a dream."_

"Oi," Hunter was obviously not a fan of being one-upped, "but do you know what it means?"

Daisy thought about it. "I think it means that everything you just saw was like a dream sequence and everyone was acting, so don't be all pissed about it."

The look on Hunter's face had proven that she was right. "Lucky guess."

"What about you?" Bobbi questioned him. "Did you really know what it meant?" Hunter gave her a puzzled look. "I think _you're_ the one who doesn't know any Shakespeare." She shoved her book at him. "Give yourself a touch more class, love," she said to him in a British accent before leaving.

With a scowl, Hunter looked down at the book. " _Much Ado About Nothing_?"

"Hey, I heard of that one!" Daisy felt proud of that. "Yeah, the guy who created _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ made a modern day movie version of that story. The guy who played the dad looked a lot like Coulson."

Simmons acknowledged her. "Yes, but Kenneth Branagh adapted and starred in his own film adaptation back in 1993 and kept it true to the Shakespearean time and style."

"His then-wife Emma Thompson played his love interest," Fitz inputted.

"And my man Denzel was the prince," Mack added, "a black actor in a Shakespeare role that's not Othello."

"Alright fine; you all didn't need to show me up!" Hunter sat in Bobbi's seat. "I'll read the damn thing with the stupid modern day translation." He opened the book and began laughing. "Heh, Bene _dick..._ and it's actually spelled like that."

Mack disapprovingly shook his head. "So immature."

…

Hunter met up with Bobbi later in the evening, "Here's your book back, Bob."

She took it back. "So was the modern day translation helpful? Or was it the only part of the book you read?"

"What? Yes, but why would you-"

"I know you Lance—we were married after all. I can picture you as the slack-off in school who didn't read the book and tried to watch the movie instead."

"Okay, yes I did try to watch that movie, and I still didn't bloody understand it! Why can't they do it in the Shakespeare setting, but with modern day talking? Make it easier for everybody."

"It's not like they don't have modern Shakespeare adaptations. _West Side Story_ is a phenomenal interpretation of _Romeo and Juliet_ , and _10 Things I Hate About You_ was a pretty good modern adaptation of _Taming of the Shrew_."

"Have you read either of those, Bob?"

"Yes I have, have you, _Lance_?" Hunter said nothing. "I indulged myself once and bought the Sparknotes books to all of Shakespeare's works. Because yeah, I was interested in his work, but I wanted to understand what the hell everyone was saying." She held the book up. "For the record, I was _rereading_ this."

"Ugh, Bob, you're such a nerd."

"Proud of it," with that she left him standing there again.

Hunter went off to his bunk. "Seriously? If you can speak Shakespeare in a modern setting, why can't you speak normal in a Shakespeare setting? It is bloody possible." He laid on his bed, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep…

…a vision of the story playing in his dreams.


	2. Act I, Scene I

Governor Coulson of Messina viewed his stately manor from a distant meadow trying to capture its essence in a portrait—painting had become a(nother) new endeavor of his. His entire estate was gathered at said meadow for a picnic lunch. His true pride and joy, his adopted daughter Jemma, was gossiping behind him with her best friend and handmaiden, Daisy—who up until this point had been named Skye until a merchant from Venice proved claim that she was his lost daughter, Daisy. Coulson's right hand, May, sat furthest away trying to achieve some sort of peace. And of course, there was his niece. Barbara—who empathetically insisted she be called "Bobbi"—had come to Messina to escape the scandal following the termination of her marriage. Bobbi sat amidst the treetops vocally expressing her disdain for men in an old poem much to everyone's amusement.

The merriment was briefly interrupted when Lincoln, a messenger boy who worked for Coulson, came riding on horseback waving a letter in the air. Jumping off his horse, he ran over to the governor. "An urgent message for you, Sir."

"Urgent?" Coulson opened the letter and skimmed over it. A small chuckle escaped him, "Choose your words carefully, young master Lincoln. This message is merely _important_."

"They kept emphasizing the word _urgent_."

"What does it say?" the ever curious Daisy inquired.

"It says that the recently appointed Duke, Antoine Triplett, is coming this very night to Messina." A mini celebration broke out among the crowd.

"And he's returning from yet another victorious battle, Sir," Lincoln added.

"So I've heard." Coulson read over the letter. "And what have we here?" He looked at Jemma. "It seems our esteemed Duke speaks highly of a young Mr. Leopold Fitz." The widest grin spread across Jemma's face. Leo Fitz, the boy whose longtime friendship only just turned into something more than platonic, had joined his fellow men in battle against Jemma's wishes and she prayed for his safe return.

"Fitz deserves to be honored. He looks so weak and helpless, but can really hold his own in battle. He's very smart, that one."

Bobbi climbed down from the trees. "Tell me: has Sir Bigmouth returned from battle as well?"

"I'm afraid I don't know who-"

"Don't mind my cousin," Jemma interrupted. "She just wants another chance to speak ill of Lance Hunter."

"Oh. Well, yes, Lance Hunter is also among the men returning home."

"Yippee," Bobbi sarcastically twirled her finger around. "Though I am surprised his mouth hasn't gotten him killed yet. It should have by now. One time he was at this pub where he began to flirt with this lusty maiden unaware that she was married. Smart woman this maiden was, she rejected his advances and slapped him. So Mr. Bigmouth stumbles over to the bar, laments about her to the bartender, and then the bartender punches him in the face. The man who Hunter had befriended that month takes him aside and explains the maiden Hunter was trying to court was married to the _bartender_. Does this deter Hunter? No. Hunter tries his seduction techniques yet again, and manages to successfully bed a bar wench—unaware that she was the bartender's little, _virgin_ sister. Of course, Hunter bragged and word got around to the already irate bartender. The bartender threatened to chase him out of town, but Hunter somehow bluffed his way out of that one. However, you can rest easier knowing Lance Hunter is banned from that pub for life."

"Come now, niece," Coulson chided her. "Lance Hunter is a hero; do not go around shaming him."

"Shaming him? _He_ is the one who brags about that story to everyone he meets!"

Coulson turned to Lincoln. "Hunter may succeed in battles, but the war of the wits between him and my niece shall never end."

"And I always win."

Lincoln couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. "I must remember to remain in your good graces, milady."

"See that you do." Bobbi sighed. "Well, the new month has started, which means Hunter has chosen another man to his 'sworn brother'. Tell me Lincoln: who is the poor sap he has befriended this month?"

"He has been spending a good deal of time with Fitz actually," Lincoln answered

"Ugh, God help poor Fitz."

The sound of a trumpet could be heard in the distance. "Well," Coulson packed up his easel, "it appears our guests are almost here." Everyone looked down at the main road that led to Messina to see a bunch of figures on horseback approaching the town.

Daisy grabbed Jemma by the arm and started pulling her toward the manor, "Come on: we got to get you ready for your man." While those two ran off in excitement, Bobbi rolled her eyes and kept a slower pace as she also headed back to the large house.

"Lincoln, ride back to the front of the town and prepare a cleaning station so that our men may be able to freshen up and wash. Their journey has been long, and I am sure they would appreciate cleansing themselves." Lincoln nodded and hurried off as May caught up with Coulson. "I apologize for interrupting your meditation yet again, Melinda." She responded with some sort of noise of displeasure and held her arm for him to escort her back to the mansion.

…

Antoine Triplett, or "Trip" has he had also been known, stood front and center as he led his group to the gates of the governor's mansion where Coulson was waiting with practically everyone else (following a period of refreshing, of course). "Your grace," Coulson extended his hand, "welcome to Messina."

Trip proudly shook the governor's hand. "Governor Coulson: you are beyond kind to host my entire army here at your place. I hope you know what kind of trouble you are getting yourself into."

"You are no trouble to this house, Your Grace. My home is always welcome to you and your men."

"Thank you." Trip surveyed the group, singling out one person in particular. "And this," he took her hand and pulled her forward, "must be fair Jemma. Our lovesick young Fitz has spoken such remarkable things about you, but the words do not do justice to meeting you in person," he kissed her hand.

"Thank you, Your Grace," Jemma thanked him with a curtsy.

"And believe me," Hunter moved forward, pushing an embarrassed Fitz with him, "this guy just went on, and on, and on about you. Jemma this and Jemma that; oi, we thought about shooting Fitz ourselves just to send him home to you so that we may get some peace and quiet," the rest of the men (excluding Fitz) laughed. "Seriously, the things he kept saying day and night, night and day, prattling on and on about Jemma this and Jemma that and-"

"You can stop talking Hunter, no one's listening anymore," Bobbi cut him off.

"My dear, Barbara," she scowled at him when he stepped forward, "I see you're still here."

"I see you're still _alive_."

"How could I die when there are so many broken-hearted women I would leave behind?"

"Their hearts broken by you of course."

Hunter tried to think of a clever retort, but couldn't. "I will find a clever way to respond to that."

"That will surely take some time."

"Bloody Hell," everyone in Trip's group (Fitz included) was laughing at Hunter. "Oh, shut it! For God's sake, I was attacked less in battle than by that she-devil."

"Are you through Hunter?" Trip inquired.

"For now, yes."

"Governor," Trip was talking to Coulson, "some of us are men of many words and should use those words to be thanking you. Everyone, Governor Coulson has agreed to house us for a month. We are thankful are we not?"

Trip's group took that as a cue to thank Coulson. "Thank you, Governor."

"It is my pleasure." Coulson did notice one man not speak with the others. "Is something the matter, Mr. Garrett?"

John Garrett remained stoic in his position. "I am not one of the men of many words—at least not anymore. However, I do thank you, Governor Coulson."

"You are welcome John," Coulson diverted his attention to the group. "You may all go inside now if you like." The two groups started to converge into one as everyone began entering the house.

"Oi, Fitz," Hunter stopped Fitz, "I can see why you like that one."

Fitz caught a profile glimpse of Jemma before she went inside. "I swear she has gotten more beautiful with each passing day."

Hunter pretended to gag at that so Fitz swatted at him. "Fitzy, Fitzy, Fitzy," Hunter put his arm around the younger man as if he were giving brotherly advice, "you have been friends with this girl for years, you grew up together, and then one day you decide you are in love with her."

"Aye, so?"

" _So?_ it does not work that way."

"I have always been in love with Jemma. It just…" he noticed Jemma standing at the balcony above them. When he saw her, he couldn't take his eyes off her, "…it just took me a while to finally admit it."

"This is a severe case of puppy love have I ever seen one. Good God man, during battles you were talking about her as if she was some trophy you prize when returning home from war."

"I think she is the most exquisite jewel if ever there was one; so precious and rare that the world cannot buy such a gem."

"Yes they can, and a case to put it into." Hunter turned Fitz toward him so that he may get his attention. "Please tell me you are not serious."

Fitz looked back at Jemma and the two smiled at one another. "I am," Jemma's smile widened as if she could hear his conversation and was responding to him. "Jemma is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"Have you seen other women?" The men noticed Bobbi go over to Jemma and try to lead her away. "Well, I suppose we should all be grateful you are not in love with her cousin, _Bobbi_." Bobbi sneered at Hunter as she led her cousin away. "Biggest mistake I ever made marrying that one. Fitz, I say this as friend and a brother-like figure: do not get married."

"Even if I swore never to marry—which I have in the past, when I was a young boy—I would gladly break that promise if Jemma would marry me."

"All this talk about love and marriage is sickening, and not just from you mate. I need to offset this mushy talk with some ale."

"Gentlemen," Trip was heading toward them, "I was wondering why you were not inside."

"Just some idle guy chat."

"Are we keeping secrets, boys?"

"No!" Fitz said that rather quickly so Trip knew he was lying.

"On your loyalty to me: I order you to tell."

Hunter sucked the air through his teeth. "Sorry, Fitz, but he is a higher power than you." Hunter moved closer to Trip. "Our young Mr. Fitz here is in love with the governor's daughter."

"Everyone knows that."

"Ah, but did you know he has confessed that he would gladly marry her."

"Did he?" Fitz looked away. "Is that all that he said?"

"Just your basic 'most beautiful woman in the world' mumbo jumbo. I say it's too soon to decide if this love is real. Listen: we lose more good men to marriage than we do to war, and I for one cannot bear to lose my dear friend Fitz. You're a wise Duke; talk some sense into our boy."

"Fitz," Trip began, "it is obvious that you are in love with Jemma."

" _Painfully_ obvious." Trip gave him a look that clearly meant 'shut up'. "Fine, fine, I get the message."

"And while Hunter says it is too soon to say if the love is real, I respectfully disagree."

"What?"

"Fitz has known Jemma since childhood, they have seen each other grow up, they know each other well, and they have taken the time to fall in love with one another."

"And you can be certain Jemma is in love with him as well?"

"Did you not see the way they looked at each other? Love, ever have I seen it."

"Love? Bloody hell, Fitz has not even been with other women! How can it be love if he has never courted another?"

"To be fair, he never properly courted Jemma either."

"Let the man explore other options."

"He does not need to. It is plain to see that Leo and Jemma are each other's true love."

Hunter's mouth hung agape. "You actually believe in that 'true love' malarkey?"

"You will too once you fall in love."

"Me, fall in love? Surely you jest."

"I swear before I die: I am going to see Lance Hunter the bachelor become Lance Hunter the husband."

"First you are going to see Lance Hunter walk away from this conversation," Hunter left all the while grumbling his disdain.

Trip shook his head at him. "Ignore him Fitz; he's just jealous because he has not found love like the love you have.

"You think so?" Fitz asked him.

"As for my advice: this love you have for Jemma, cherish it. If you're certain she is the one you want to marry, then marry her."

Fitz seemed to have gain some confidence. "I should, shouldn't I?"

"Am I really the one you need to be asking?." Fitz's confidence was slowly fading. "You know you have my blessing; but you know you're going to need the _governor'_ s."

Gone was the confidence. "Yeah, about that, could you…could you talk to him for me?"

"Oh, and I suppose you want me to ask Jemma for you too?"

"Could you? If isn't much trouble."

"Why can't you just ask her yourself?"

"I…I'm not sure how. I do not know how to be… _romantic_. Besides, I would want it to be a surprise and I know I would somehow cock it all up."

Trip laughed, "Fitz, my good man, you've got it bad. I'll tell you what," Trip walked down the pathway with Fitz unaware that someone was idling nearby, "a celebratory masquerade ball is being held in our honor tonight. Wearing a disguise, I will talk with Jemma and prepare her by telling her that she has a surprise from one Leo Fitz awaiting her. Then I will go and speak with her father on your behalf. Governor Coulson will naturally give you his blessing, and then you can ask Jemma to marry you."

"In front of all those people?"

"Not necessarily, but you know that you have to overcome this anxiety of speaking in public, Fitz."

"Yeah, I know, but-"

"And believe me, when you do ask Jemma: it will seem as though the world will disappear and the only other person with you is her."

Fitz grinned. "You're a real romantic, you know that?"

Trip let out a hearty laugh. "Come on: let's go prepare our costumes."


	3. Act I, Scene II

The only woman among Trip's group of men, Kara—who was also their battlefield nurse—was giving Garrett a massage. "You have far too much tension, milord."

"And why shouldn't I?" Garrett coldly questioned back. "The position of Duke was promised to me and yet I have to sit back and watch it go to a man who was once my protégé."

"Still you remain loyal to Trip?" that came out more as a question.

"Loyal?" Garrett sat up. "I would rather be a weed in a hedge than a rose in his garden. I do not stay loyal: I stay close. Close enough to gather any information that I may use against him to secure the position that is rightfully mine." He sighed. "Oh, what I would give for a little chaos and calamity; a chance to do evil."

"Perhaps I may offer a suggestion?" Grant Ward, another one of Trip's men (and Kara's suitor) entered the room.

"Ah, my most favorite protégé," Garrett got off the massage table and put his arm around Ward. "You are the only one who truly understands me and my desire to create mischief and agony. What information do you have for me?"

"I couldn't help but overhear a portion of conversation between our esteemed Duke and young Mr. Fitz."

"The inventor boy?" Ward nodded. "Yes, he has slowly worked his way to a top position among Trip's men, and therefore has become another enemy of mine. The boy barely talks and when he does it's about the darling 'Princess of Messina'. What could he and the Duke possibly have to talk about?"

"It appears our dear, little Fitz is madly in love with the girl you have dubbed the 'Princess of Messina'."

"Yes, yes, that much is obvious; now would you care to tell me something that I don't know?"

"The Duke has agreed to prepare the girl for a surprise from Fitz."

This piqued Garrett's interest. "And what surprise would that be?"

"A proposal of marriage."

"Really?"

"I'm sorry gentlemen," Kara cut in, "but I do not see how that news can be used to our advantage."

Garrett smiled a sly smile. "You're just not widening your mind like I am, Kara, my Dear. If you want to stop a powerful man: you must first cut off his resources. Fitz is a valuable asset with his vast knowledge and inventive skill. We just need to break his loyalty to the Duke by using his lady love as the catalyst." He snaked his arms around his companion's shoulders. "I will have your loyalty, will I not?"

Ward spoke for him and his mate. "Until the day we die, Sir." Afterwards, Kara also nodded in agreement.

"Good boy." He patted Ward's shoulder. "Now why are we all idling around when we have a party to get ready for?" He led the two into the very same hallway Coulson and his group of women were walking down. Naturally, the two groups met halfway. Quickly wiping the smile off of his face, a serious Garrett took Jemma's hand and kissed it. Afterwards, he bowed to the small assembly. "Governor. Ladies," then he led Ward and Kara away.

"I didn't see John Garrett at dinner tonight," May noted to Coulson. "I do not trust him."

"There is no need to rush to judgment," Coulson defended. "Perhaps he was not in a festive mood."

Jemma nodded in agreement. "He does seem a rather gloomy man. He does not say much either."

"And I like that about him," Bobbi commented. "I would rather involve myself with a quiet, serious man who is always unhappy so that his melancholy disposition would greatly lift my spirits."

"Do you not want a husband, niece?" Coulson inquired with a chuckle.

"Absolutely not. I am much happier as a free woman."

"Perhaps you will change your mind someday."

"Not until man is no longer a descendant of Adam, or until man is created by a female God." At the end of the hallway, Lincoln was waiting with an assortment of masks and costumed accessories. "I also would not mind a man like Lincoln who knows that he must please me if he wants to remain in my good graces." Lincoln looked at her confused.

"Pay no mind to my niece, Lincoln," Coulson put on his mask. "Are we all set?" He waited for everyone to put their masks on. "Very well, let's party!" The group cheered and hurried out into the backyard where the party was in full swing.

A man in a lion mask approached Jemma and bowed to her. "May I have this dance, milady?" he extended his hand.

"Well…" Jemma could tell that this was not the man she really wanted to dance with.

"Go on, Jem," Bobbi—with a cat mask over her face—attempted to sway her cousin to dance with the man in the lion mask. "What is the harm in _one_ dance?"

Jemma took the man's hand. "I shall entreat you to _one_ dance, good sir."

"One dance is all I need," the lion-masked man began leading her in dance.

Bobbi smiled at this as a man wearing a ridiculously large, smiling clown masked made his way over to her. "And who did we have here?" He was obviously speaking in a fake accent. "One Miss Bobbi: niece of the Governor of Messina and former wife of Sir Lance Hunter."

"You seem to know so much about me," Bobbi could tell it was Hunter under that mask and speaking in a terrible Scottish accent (perhaps he was trying to imitate Fitz), "and yet, I do not know who you are. I suppose my former husband told you about me; the man never shuts his mouth after all. He has probably gone about the party telling people that I stole my best quips from a joke book."

"Actually, I have not been properly introduced to Mr. Hunter."

"Save yourself the trouble. He is no one of importance."

"He's not?" the accent had started to fade.

"He's the Duke's jester, and very awful one at that. The man thinks he is amusing, but the only one laughing is himself. Often he will get a laugh by slandering a person, not a very smart thing to do—but then again, the man himself is _not_ smart."

"Ah," Hunter quickly resumed his bad accent, "well if I see him, I shall tell him what you said."

"Please do," as Bobbi begun to leave, she accidentally bumped into a man in a monkey mask. "Oh, sorry Sir."

"It's fine," this man was also trying to disguise his accent. He must have done a better job because Bobbi had no idea it was Fitz under that mask. Fitz was standing at a distance watching the interaction between Jemma and the Duke. He briefly lifted his monkey mask to get a better look, shaking with anticipated nerves knowing that now Trip was telling Jemma that she was expecting a surprise from her admirer.

"Ah, good Sir Hunter," Fitz quickly lowered his mask as Garrett approached with Ward behind him.

"Oi, yes," Fitz disguised himself as such, "can't fool you; I am him."

"You are on close terms with the Duke that I hope I can ask a favor of you."

"Uh…sure, ask away."

"See, Ward and I overheard the Duke swear his love for the governor's daughter."

They couldn't see Fitz's face fall under the mask. Still, he kept in character as Hunter. "Surely you are mistaken."

"I also recall him saying he wants to marry her tonight," Ward added.

"Oh dear," Garrett noticed Jemma hug Trip with delight, "it appears he has already spoken with the girl." He put his hand on Fitz's shoulder. "You are a man of many words Hunter; perhaps you can find the words to tell Leo Fitz. The poor boy, I would not want to be anywhere near him when he receives that news; him being so in love with her and all. Come Ward: let us hurry to the buffet table before all of the food is gone."

A jealous Fitz watched as Trip kissed Jemma's hand before stepping away. When Trip left, Fitz couldn't help but notice the lovelorn smile plastered on Jemma's face. "Why didn't I see this before?" he ripped off his mask and threw it on the ground. "I have seen the way he kisses her hand, the way he praised her beauty when he laid eyes on her. The plan he told me was only a lie so that _he_ may tell Jemma he loves her and ask her to marry _him_. Why should she refuse? Trip is handsome, he is wealthy, he's the bloody Duke for God's sake." A sigh. "What chance do I stand against Trip?"

"Oi, Fitzy," Hunter went over to Fitz, "you're not wearing your mask?" Fitz started storming off. "Hey, hey, wait a minute," Hunter caught up to him, "Did you not notice the Duke has gotten your Jemma?"

"I hope he enjoys her."

"Whoa, whoa, where did this attitude come from?"

"Leave me alone, Hunter." Fitz angrily walked away.

"Poor boy looks more upset than usual," Hunter noted. "Can't imagine why; the Duke is with the Governor asking for a marriage blessing on his behalf. If anyone should be upset it should be me! He did not hear the things that Bobbi said about me!" He gasped in realization. "She knew it was me under that mask! That crafty little minx. Oh! Oh, I will get back at her for that…and for that insult this morning. My revenge will be brilliant!"

"Hunter," Trip made his way to his friend, "Hunter, have you seen Fitz?"

"Yes, but he seems rather upset over something."

"Oh?"

"He looked as if he had been betrayed by a friend."

"Has he?"

"I do not know; he asked that he be left alone."

"Then what was that last part I heard you say about revenge? Is this revenge against Fitz?"

"No, against Bobbi; I could never hurt Fitz." He noticed Bobbi heading toward them, her arm linked with Fitz's. "Speak of the she-devil." Bobbi approached the men. "Trip, please tell me that there is an errand I can run, or an arduous quest I can undertake for you."

"I would like nothing but your good company."

"I do not think I could offer good company in such a bad presence," he was scowling at Bobbi as he stomped off.

Trip chuckled. "It seems to me, Bobbi, you have lost Hunter's heart."

"It's no good anyway," Bobbi watched Hunter skulk off. "I thought I had won it once—even gave him my heart in return—but it was all a cruel charade. So you may say that I had lost his heart to begin with." Bobbi tugged on Fitz's arm. "Regardless, I have secured Fitz so that he may accompany us to our talk with the governor."

Trip notice the upset on Fitz's face as they headed off. "Fitz, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Fitz bitterly replied.

"Are you ill?"

"No."

"Fitz is neither sad nor sick," Bobbi observed. "Why, I believe he's jealous."

"What has he to be jealous off?" Trip asked as they got closer to Coulson and Jemma. "Fitz, I have done what I have promised." He nudged Fitz forward, "now I believe you have a surprise for Jemma."

Fitz's jaw nearly hit the floor. Trip had kept his word after all. "I…I…"

"Fitz," Coulson took his daughter's hand and guided it into Fitz's, signifying his blessing, "I believe the Duke has successfully played matchmaker."

" _Successfully_?" Coulson nodded. "This means that..." another nod from the governor. A stunned Fitz was absolutely speechless.

"Speak, Fitz," Bobbi told him, "this is your cue."

Fitz didn't take his eyes off of Jemma. "I read somewhere that silence is the perfectest herald of joy and now I understand why. Jemma: I know I don't have much to give you; but I give myself and all of my love," Jemma gasped as he got down on one knee. "Marry me!" He cursed under his breath. "I mean, _will you_ marry me?"

"Speak, Jem," Bobbi broke the silence, "or accept his proposal with a kiss."

Jemma brought Fitz to his feet and planted a tender kiss on his lips. The audience applauded as Fitz wrapped his arms around Jemma and let the kiss linger on.

Sighing wistfully to herself, Bobbi sat at a marble fountain and watched the young lovers gently pull away from their liplock and begin dancing—her cousin's head on Fitz's shoulder and his arms around Jemma's waist. She looked away after Fitz placed a gentle kiss atop Jemma's head.

"They truly make a beautiful couple," Bobbi's peace was disturbed by the local friar and a close friend of hers.

"Well Mack," Bobbi patted the open seat beside her, "it appears as though you have yourself a wedding to officiate."

He sat down beside her. "You really are quite the hopeless romantic."

"I suppose so. Everyone does seem to be pairing off with someone, except me."

"The only way to cure you of that is to find you a husband."

"I had one once. I married a man I thought I was in love with, and look what good that did."

"Perhaps you should take a lesson from your cousin and marry a friend."

"Why Mack: are you asking me to marry you?"

"If you would like to."

She patted his knee. "You are sweet; but I could never marry a friend, for then I would surely lose him again. I would rather us remain the way we are now."

"I understand."

"Well, I think I'm going to turn in early this evening." She kissed Mack's cheek. "Goodnight, Mack." She went over to her uncle and the Duke. "I am done for the evening; goodnight gentlemen."

"Duke, answer me honestly," Coulson waited for Bobbi to leave before speaking, "do you think my niece would be happier if she were married?"

"Do you want to know what I really think?" Coulson gestured for Trip to continue. "I think she still harbors feelings for her former husband and the insults she spews at him is merely her way of trying to deny said feelings. The same can be said for Hunter. He beds women after women, but cannot sustain a relationship like the one that he had with your niece because no other woman can ever duplicate the relationship he had with Bobbi."

"Maybe it would not be such a bad idea to see them espoused again."

"Speaking of espousing," Trip noticed the recently engaged couple speaking to Mack, "perhaps they are asking the Friar to bless their union this very evening."

"Excuse me," Coulson excused himself and went over to them. Trip couldn't help but chuckle. Yes, Coulson approved of the marriage, but if he was going to see his only daughter married off, then he would want to see it properly. Coulson soon returned after a brief chat. "Apparently, we have set the wedding for this Sunday." Another chuckle. "And with today being Friday, we have less than a day to prepare."

"Will my assistance be needed?"

"It is not necessary Your Grace."

"Very well; then I shall pass the time with an impossible task."

"Oh?"

"I am going to get Hunter and Bobbi to fall in love with each other all over again."

"Oh really?"

"What can I say; I like playing Cupid." Coulson laughed. "And I'm certain that with a little help, I can accomplish the task within the next few days."

"Well you shall have _my_ assistance. Now, what do you propose we do?"

…

Garrett was brooding in his bedroom while the party was still occurring. "Damn them all!" There was a knock on his door. "What?"

Ward entered. "I trust you have heard the news of the engagement?"

"Unfortunately."

"They are set to be married this Sunday." Garrett growled. "If it helps: we almost succeeded, Sir."

"It doesn't. Christ, why must everyone be so damn loyal to Trip?"

"Did you not sense the intense jealousy from Fitz when you told him the Duke was in love with Jemma? The Duke would have easily lost Fitz's loyalty had no one else been helping to arrange this engagement."

"Yes, well that jealousy from Fitz is understandable; love can make a man foolish."

"Perhaps we can use that against him."

A thought occurred in Garrett's deviant mind. "Perhaps we can."

"Sir?"

Garrett removed a satchel from under his bed. "A derelict old man claiming to be a clairvoyant stopped me once after a battle and gave this to me." He revealed what was in the satchel.

"A wig?"

"Look closer," he passed the wig to Ward. "Whose hair does that most resemble?"

"It does bear a striking resemblance to Jemma's hair."

"This 'clairvoyant' man said that it would be most beneficial in the most devious of schemes." An evil smile formed on his face. "Now I believe I understand why." When Ward tried to hand him the wig, he declined it. "I think that would be best suited for Kara…particularly in a bedroom scenario." A plan began to form. "Yes, and with Trip as a witness…it all works to our advantage."

Ward looked at him with utmost confusion. "I'm afraid I don't follow. What does Trip have to do with Kara wearing this wig?"

"Then why I don't I make this a little easy for you to understand?"


	4. Act I, Scene III

Hunter was walking around the garden the following morning trying to avoid responsibility. "So our dear Fitzy is getting married tomorrow?" He chuckled to himself. "I hate to admit it—even aloud to myself where no one who matters can hear me—I am actually very happy for Fitz and Jemma; they do make such a beautiful couple. It would not surprise me if he wanted to marry her the first day they met. Well, I wish them all the happiness…I just want no part in preparing for this wedding." He sighed. "It must be nice to fall in love. Hopefully one day I shall find me a woman who is not only attractive, but wise; one that I may share more than just physical pleasure with. Though in all honesty a life with nothing but intimacy wouldn't be such a bad thing either."

On the other side of the garden wall, Fitz was spying on Hunter while Trip and Coulson waited behind him. "Can you see him?" Trip quietly questioned. "What is he doing?"

"He's monologuing to himself," Fitz answered back in a hushed tone. "It's going to be a long while before a pause in his one-sided conversation."

"Then we'll just have to interrupt him." Trip then raised his voice so that Hunter could hear. "And you are certain no one will hear us out here, Governor?"

"I made sure that the gardens were clear before I asked you men out here," Coulson was also playing along, "for I have stumbled upon the most unbelievable scene that I surely thought was a dream."

"Oh? Do go on, Sir."

"I had awoken early and was making my way to my study when I heard my niece lament. Naturally curious, I paused to listen. Bobbi was standing at her bedroom mirror confessing to her reflection how she's still madly in love with her former husband." Hunter quickly covered his hand over his mouth so that no one would hear his surprised gasp.

"Governor, you must have been dreaming."

"I pinched myself to ensure whether or not I was dreaming; alas, I was awake. Bobbi tries to deny her feelings for him with their verbal spars, but even then she says she anticipates when they occur because—in a demented way—it creates more conversation time with Hunter. Evidently, she has also recounted her feelings via the written word—though I will not invade her privacy and search for it."

"So why doesn't she just tell Hunter how she really feels?" Fitz asked.

"My niece was brought up a proper young woman. Therefore, she believes it is proper if the gentleman initiates the courting. Besides: she doubts that Hunter will take her seriously if she admitted her love for him."

"The man hardly takes anything seriously. He would undoubtedly turn it into a joke and mock her mercilessly."

"And I give Bobbi high praise for her intelligence," Trip commented. "She is a truly classy and remarkably smart lady. Well, it isn't smart for her to love Lance Hunter, but there are things that no doubt turn even the smartest of people into simple fools." Hunter resisted the urge to throw at rock at Trip. "And in all honesty, that man is more attracted to women of lower class and lackluster intelligence."

"Is that your way of saying Hunter prefers all bust and no brain?"

Trip let out a small chuckle. "I suppose that is a cruder way of summarizing what I said." He quickly regained composure. "No, we must not let on that we know any of this. Let us hold on to the hope that Bobbi will find someone truly worthy of her love. Until then: let's go to breakfast, for I am starving."

"Amen to that," the men headed back to the house.

Hunter stumbled around the garden wall to the now vacant spot where he heard the men talking. "Bobbi's still in love with me?" He pinched himself. "No, I am awake." He looked toward the house. "They talked honestly about it, even down to the less than kind words about me. I suppose by now I would remark how Bobbi would be lucky to fancy a man as handsome as I—and I suppose I just did—but yet I can't because it would hurt her and I care about that. I _care_? It's as if that revelation is rekindling my romantic feelings toward her; which is not necessarily a bad thing—I did marry the woman after all. Bobbi is very attractive, and God yes she is smart, and I do have a thing for blondes." He leaned against the garden wall. "My God, I think I've fallen in love with my ex-wife." He heard footsteps. "Speak of the most beautiful, intelligent, she-devil."

An irate Bobbi stood in front of him. "I have been asked to come and get you for breakfast."

"You look as if you take no pleasure in doing so."

"I don't." Hunter laughed. "What, dare I ask, is so funny?"

"I was just thinking back to the first morning I tried to cook you breakfast in bed, but failed miserably."

She skeptically raised an eyebrow to him. "Why?"

"I don't know...I just felt like reminiscing a bit." He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek before heading for the house. "See you at breakfast, love."

…

Following breakfast—where Bobbi couldn't help but notice that Hunter kept staring at her—Bobbi sat on the terrace reading a novel while May was finishing her meditation techniques. "I'll be seeing you May," Bobbi called to May without taking her eyes off her book.

May gave her a small wave and turned the corner where Jemma and Daisy were waiting. "Please tell me you're not going through with this ridiculous plan."

"Come on May," Daisy tried to coax, "are you sure you're not the tiniest bit interested?"

"I prefer not to stick my nose in other people's business. I want no part in this or its inevitably doomed aftermath," May went inside.

"She needs to lay with a man _now_."

"Daisy!" Jemma admonished.

"What?"

"Could we just stick to the Duke's plan and not make those kind of remarks about other people? Now that May has left and Bobbi is alone, this may be our only chance."

"Okay, fine," Daisy and Jemma walked within earshot of Bobbi. "Oh my God Jem, are you serious?" Bobbi was obviously trying to avoid what was certainly idle gossip. "Tell me everything, and do not skip out on any details."

Jemma fidgeted a little. "I don't know; I promised Leo I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Well in all fairness, you didn't tell me; I overheard it. Now come on; what's this I hear about Lance Hunter being in love with your cousin?" The book dropped out of Bobbi's hands, but she quickly snatched it up and carried on pretending she wasn't listening.

"When Leo went out to look for his mask after the party ended, he noticed Hunter by the pool talking to himself."

"Surprise, surprise."

"Hunter was carrying on a conversation with his reflection in the water about how he has fallen in love with Bobbi all over again."

Daisy squealed with delight. "I always knew there was still something between them! I have to go tell someone."

"No, you can't! Leo even felt guilty after he told me this morning. No one can know; we don't want word getting around to Bobbi."

"Why not?"

"Do you honestly think my cousin will take Hunter seriously? She will mercilessly mock him with that knowledge. Yet even if Bobbi did harbor feelings: she is far too proud to act upon them. She will take his positive attributes and qualities and find something wrong with them to convince herself she is not in love with him."

"Then we need to go and convince Hunter to woo her back. We can use the 'we overheard you talking to yourself' excuse because in this instance it is the truth."

"Leo told me how Hunter spoke of Bobbi being a strong, independent woman who bows to no man's whim. She would surely turn him down if Hunter courted her."

"Maybe we can hint at ways that she can court him," Daisy smiled. "It worked for you and Fitz."

Jemma blushed. "That is not entirely true. Leo always loved me; I merely asked for confirmation."

"Please, you were the one who initiated the romance when you put your hand on his knee to stop him from his incoherent babbling. That story is romantic. I'm sure if Bobbi was the one who courted Hunter, that could also make for a romantic story."

"But wouldn't Hunter assume she's taunting him?" Jemma faked a plan. "I will tell Leo to go to Hunter, tell him that he knows what he said by the pool, and start listing the reasons why Hunter should _not_ be in love with Bobbi."

"You mean like ruin her reputation?"

"No, just speak of her negative aspects and remind Hunter of the reasons why they are no longer married."

"I suppose that's fair. Hunter really isn't that bad of a guy and he deserves to find a woman who will truly love him...or at least one who is good at pleasuring a man."

"Really, Daisy?"

"Hey, maybe Hunter should bed May."

"Daisy!"

"May can not be so stiff and serious all the time; she needs to loosen up."

"Honestly, Daisy."

"You will probably change your mind about a couple in bed together once you and Fitz-"

"I think that's enough of that! We have made our point on that subject and now the subject must be changed."

"Speaking of change: why don't you go change into your wedding dress so I can see how it looks on you?"

"Wouldn't you want to see it with the veil or the train?"

"Seriously, do not wear those. I'm telling you: it would look much better with just the dress and the flower crown."

"Do you really think so?"

"Why don't we go and see for ourselves?" Daisy gestured for Jemma to go inside and then followed her.

Bobbi dog-eared her place in the book she had since been pretending to read before setting it down on the empty seat beside her. "I suppose that explains his strange behavior this morning. Jemma never lies—and when she does she is terrible at it—so this is obviously the truth. Then there is the fact that Hunter has yet to have a successful relationship since our marriage ended…just as I have." She paused when she realized that. "Being the wife of Lance Hunter wasn't all _that_ terrible; it did have its merits. He could be a gentleman if he wanted to, especially with those little, rare romantic gestures…" she cleared her throat. "I can _not_ keep falling in love with that man," a beat, "and yet I do." Bobbi growled in exasperation. "He's stubborn, he's irritating, he's crude and immature, he's a drunk, he _never_ stops talking, good God I can go on and on." A small smile escaped Bobbi. "Though Hunter does bring out a less serious side of me. There was a point where I didn't mind when he drove me crazy, and some of his less tasteful jokes were rather amusing." She tried to get a cool composure. "Jemma, Leo, and Daisy are the only ones who know about this; so I just have to go on as if nothing has changed and I still hate Hunter…even though everything has changed and I _do_ love Hunter." Another sigh. "I need a cold shower to clear my head."


	5. Act I, Scene IV

"He's prob'ly goin' to buy us a house nearby," Fitz was carrying on a conversation with Trip as they walked down the hallway. "I only came to this city for schooling, so I don't really have a proper home and it might be uncomfortable living here."

Trip raised an eyebrow. "It would be uncomfortable living in this giant house with over fifty rooms, servants, and an indoor pool?"

A defeated Fitz waited a moment to respond. "Well…not when you put it like that."

A thud came from a nearby guest room. "What the?" Trip led the way toward the sound in question. It had been coming from one of the guest rooms.

The guest room in question belonged to Lance Hunter. "Blimey, that thing was heavier than I thought," Hunter was practically hunched over a giant trunk trying to catch his breath. Oddly enough, he was wearing a fancy looking suit.

"Hunter," Hunter turned to face the man who asked for him, "what are you doing in that suit?"

"What, this old thing?" His expression became more serious. "You don't like it do you? Bloody hell, I knew this wasn't the right one." Hunter practically tore off the suit he was wearing and threw it on top of a pile of other suits near a mirror. "I have got to find the perfect attire."

"What's the occasion?" Fitz inquired.

Hunter shot him a confused look. "Your wedding."

"Oh."

Trip chuckled. "I think what our groom meant is why are you making a big to-do over which suit to wear? It's not as if you're trying to impress someone, are you?"

Hunter scoffed. "What? Me? Impress someone else?" An obviously fake chuckle. "Surely you jest."

"Fitz, I'm afraid our dear friend Hunter has got it bad."

"Got what?" Trip laughed as he led Fitz away. "Got what?"

"Good night, Hunter!"

"Seriously, got what?" Hunter's query continued being ignored.

"Even I'm confused Trip," Fitz admitted. "What has he got?"

"He's got _it_ and he has got it bad."

" _It_?"

"Fitz, Hunter shows the side effects of being struck by Cupid's arrow."

"The plan actually worked?"

"Could you not tell he was trying to make himself presentable for Bobbi?"

"And you're certain it had nothing to do with my wedding tomorrow?"

"C'mon Fitz, would he really make a huge deal out of that?"

Trip had Fitz there. Lance Hunter wasn't one for formal occasions—and he had a particular distain for weddings most of all. Why should Fitz's wedding be any different? "Okay, yes, good point."

As the men continued walking down the hall, they almost bumped into Garrett. "I am sorry gentlemen," Garrett apologized, "I did not see…Fitz?"

Fitz exchanged a glance with Trip. "Yes?"

"This makes no sense. If you're standing here in front of me than who…" Garrett stopped. "Oh."

"Garrett," Trip spoke, "is everything alright?"

"I'm afraid not."

"What's the matter?"

"I do not think you would care to hear about the sight I have just come across, especially you Mr. Fitz."

"Why not?" Fitz asked him. "It sounds like it concerns me."

Garrett was still hesitant to tell him. "There is no easy way to explain this."

"Just tell us what you saw, John," Trip requested.

"Very well: I was outside looking for the governor when I heard distinct sounds of lovemaking. The source of said lovemaking was coming from..."

"From where?"

"...from the room of the Governor's daughter." The other men didn't say anything, but their expressions no doubt conveyed some sort of a response. "The window was open and the woman who was being pleasured next to the open window had uncanny honey colored hair very much like Jemma's style. I thought nothing of it assuming she was being intimate with Mr. Fitz, and yet here the gentleman in question stands before my very eyes."

Fitz shook his head. "You're lying," he barely spoke above a whisper.

"I must admit," Trip began, "even I cannot believe what you're telling us."

Garrett sighed. "Then I have no choice but to show the both of you." Garrett gestured for them to follow him. He pointed to the open window where a woman with honey colored hair was making love to a man who was not Fitz. "Is this not Jemma's bedroom?"

Fitz was looking away from the sight and onto the ground. "It is."

"Jemma," the man in Jemma's bedroom was passionately calling her name, "I love it when you do that." Fitz tried to hold back the bile rising in his throat.

"It sounds like she has done this before," Garrett noted as he put a comforting hand on an upset Fitz's shoulder. "I was hoping this was not true for your sake; I do care about you Fitz." Fitz angrily stormed off.

"Fitz," Trip tried to chase after him, but Garrett stopped him.

"Let him go. He needs to be alone right now."

Trip looked back up toward the window. "I desperately do not want to believe this, and yet the evidence is plain to see."

"So you agree that is the governor's daughter?"

"It is her bedroom, the man called out her name, and the hair is unmistakably hers."

"You mustn't blame yourself for making the match between her and Fitz. How we were supposed to know this girl was…well, there really is no kind way to describe what she is, nor what she has done to our poor Fitz."

"I must talk him out of marrying her."

"Would he listen? He loves the girl so."

"It is the right thing to do. If he does nothing by tomorrow, then at the wedding when the friar asks if there is any just cause as to why the two should not be wed, I will speak up."

"The boy does have a fear of public speaking." Garrett put his arm around Trip's shoulders and began leading him away. "Truly, the boy is lucky to have a friend like you."

…

Eric, the eldest of the Koenig triplets, was proudly marching back and forth in front of his younger, eerily identical brothers. "To be chosen as security to the Governor is an extreme honor. We are all good and honest men, lest we suffer eternal salvation."

Billy Koenig, the second oldest, noticed the vocabulary error. "I believe the actual word is-"

"I believe the actual word is," Eric mocked. "As both eldest brother and Chief of Security, I do not have to listen to either of you. Whatever word I say is the word that goes, do you understand?"

"Yes Eric," Billy and Sam replied back in monotone.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

The younger brothers rolled their eyes. "Yes _Chief_ Eric."

Eric smiled smugly. "I like the sound of that," he cleared his throat and regained his serious composure, "Now it is time to test you men," he paused to think of a scenario. "Okay, you order a vagrant man to stop in Duke's name, but he does not. What do you do?" After a moment, Sam slowly raised his hand. "Yes, Billy?"

"Sam."

"Eric."

"No, I am Sam."

"Does it really matter?"

"Kind of, yes."

"Just answer my question: what do you do if a vagrant does not stop in the Duke's name?"

"Let him go?"

He looked at him in disbelief. "Let? Him? _Go_?"

"Well, if he does not stop in the Duke's name, then does that indicate that he's not one of the Duke's men."

Eric didn't consider that, but wouldn't let his brothers catch on. "Yes, good, you passed my test. Meddle with no one but the Duke's objects."

Billy raised his hand. "Question."

"Yes, Sam."

"Billy."

"Eric."

"No, I…never mind we're obviously getting nowhere with this."

"What is your question?"

"What if nothing is happening and we're tired? Is it appropriate to fall asleep so that in case something does happen, we will be more alert?"

Eric rubbed his chin in thought. "Sleeping on the watch should not be a problem, but just make sure you keep your weapons close by so that they do not get stolen like last time. Oh, and one of you will have to go to a pub at some point and tell any of the drunkards to return home."

Sam raised his hand. "But what if a drunkard won't go?"

Eric let out an exasperated sigh. "Then you obviously wait until they are sober."

Billy raised his hand. "What if we come across a thief?"

"Then expect the thief to be a liar."

"Yes, but should we arrest him?"

"That's your call. See, the thief could have a weapon and use said weapon to maim or kill you so that is one bad thing going for you; but the thief could also ensure that you get your fingerprints on whatever they had stolen and then may try to frame you so...that one's more your guys' call than mine."

Sam again. "What if there's a crying young child alone and crying?"

"Then you go and get their mother or nursemaid," Eric talked to Sam as if Sam was stupid.

"What if the mother or nursemaid is nowhere to be found or is asleep?"

"A crying child should wake the woman up."

"But what if it-"

"You know what: enough with the stupid questions Billy!"

"SAM! I AM SAM!"

"Yeah, well _Sam_ : I have decided to put Billy second in command."

While Billy quietly celebrated, Sam verbally protested. "But that's not fair!"

"Well you should have been born second."

"I had no control over that!"

"And now you have no control over this."

Sam pouted. "I'm going to tell Mother about this."

Eric clapped his hands together. "Okay brothers, I'm off."

"Where are you going?" Billy questioned.

"As Chief of Security, I have more chiefly things to secure. Now get to work men!" Eric left.

"Psst," Billy gestured for Sam to move closer, "look what I got," he pulled a device from his pocket and showed it to Sam.

"What is that?"

"Some science guy made it. By pressing this button, this device will automatically send electrical impulses throughout a person's body."

"Wow that is awesome." Suddenly, there was some rustling in the distance. "I think someone's coming!"

"What do we do?"

"Don't ask me, you're second in charge. What do we do?"

"Okay: I say we hide in the background and listen to their conversation. If they something damning, we use this device on them."

"Good plan."

"Yeah, that's probably why I'm second in charge."

The brothers hid as a jovial Ward and Kara came onto the scene laughing. "Grant," Kara started, "is it considered prostitution if Garrett paid you to have sex with me?"

"Kara, Darling, I was not paid to have sex with you," Ward explained, "that was of my own choice. I could have chosen any girl to put on that wig and make sweet love to me while I call her Jemma. I was paid to hold up my end of the bargain in Garrett's scheme."

"Did it work?"

"You were there; how did you not notice?"

"I could not very well focus my attention outside the window with my back to it now could I?"

"Touché."

"So, did the plan work or not?"

"As far as they know, Fitz and the Duke saw the governor's daughter having sexual relations with another man. So tomorrow at the wedding, try and look surprise when the Princess of Messina is slandered for all to see."

The brothers nodded to each other and came out of hiding. "Stop in the name of the Duke!" As Ward reached for his sword, Billy used his device on him. The electrical impulses rendered Ward helpless and he fell to the ground. Kara tried to run, but Sam stopped her so that Billy could use the device on her. Naturally, it had the same effect as it did with Ward.

Billy was dumbfounded. "My god, we actually caught some criminals!"

"Yeah, but what about the other guy they talked about?" Sam remembered. "It sounds like he's the one in charge? Shouldn't we look for him?"

"Yes, but not right now. Who knows how long these two will be unconscious. We are going to have to bring them into police custody and have the sexton take down the charges."

Sam gasped in delight. "We'll get to see the sexton!"

"I know!"

"She sure is pretty."

"Not as pretty as me of course."

"We look alike!"

"Yes, but I am the attractive one."

"Huh?"

"Eric is the brains, I am the looks, and you…you're the Sam."

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"Yeah, well it's not fair that Mother likes you best," Ward made some sort of grunting sound, but Billy used his weapon on him again. "Man, this little machine is awesome!"

"We should probably bring these criminals in now before something like that happens again."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"I want to take the girl!"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"It would look more manly if I brought in the man anyway."


	6. Act II, Scene I

A beaming Jemma stepped out of her closet where her mini entourage of women were awaiting her. Daisy playfully wolf-whistled—making Jemma blush in the process—as she got up to stand beside the bride. "Wasn't I right about losing the veil?"

"Veils are traditional," May countered.

"That's one opinion."

"That is not an opinion, but an observation. Jemma will look beautiful regardless."

"Thank you, May," Jemma thanked. The sound of a blowing nose ruined the moment. "Oh Bobbi, are you sure you're alright?"

Bobbie sniffled. "Fine," she wiped her nose. "I am not going to let a case of the sniffles stop me from being a part of my cousin's special day."

Daisy quirked her brow to Bobbi. "You caught a cold in this weather?"

"She most likely caught it from being out in the air after a lengthy shower last night," Jemma deduced.

"I'll be fine," Bobbi assured. "And for the record: you look better without the veil. The flower crown is enough."

Daisy smiled proudly. "See, I told you," she grabbed Jemma's wrists, "now let's go do your hair," she led Jemma away.

Bobbi turned to May. "Do you think she'll have time? Uncle Phil is supposed to be here by now, isn't he?"

"He was called to a meeting," May answered back as if it was no big deal.

"Today of all days?"

"They are claiming it's urgent."

"They who?"

"His new security team."

…

Dressed in one of his finest suits—though given the fact that he wore suits everyday one really couldn't tell—Governor Coulson greeted Eric Koenig at the front gate.

"Governor Coulson," Eric bowed.

"You really don't have to do that," Coulson assured.

"My word, that is an elegant suit; is this, perhaps, a special occasion?"

"My daughter is getting married this afternoon."

"My condolences," Eric said with a smile.

Coulson gave him a quick look of confusion, but quickly brushed this aside. "You said you had news that 'discerns' me greatly."

"Yes," Koenig clapped his hands together, "late in the evening, my men—although I did the majority of the work—apprehended some auspicious criminals that we wish for you to look over."

"I must commend you on your use of the word 'apprehended'."

"I don't mean to brag, but I have been told I have a rather electric vocabulary."

"Eclectic?"

"No, Eric…but if you wish, you may call me whatever you please."

"Governor," Lincoln fast-walked to Coulson, "they are waiting for you to walk your daughter down the aisle."

"You'll have to excuse me, Eric," Coulson excused himself, "but this is a more important matter. I give you full permission to examine these criminals, provided that you do so with the sexton."

Eric was visibly excited by that. "Yes, Sir!" He took off in an excited hurry.

Coulson patted Lincoln's shoulder. "Your timing could not have been more perfect." They had a laugh at that. "I suggest you take your seat now."

"Yes, Sir," as Coulson went one way, Lincoln went another.

May was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Coulson made his way into the house. "Melinda."

"Phillip," she practically deadpanned back.

"Is there really any need for formalities?" May made some sort of noise in response. "How does my tie look?"

"Do not ask me for fashion advice."

"Just one more fashion related question."

"What?"

"How does Jemma look?" He looked up as he heard a door shut.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" with that, May headed outside to take her reserved seat.

"Bridesmaids coming through!" a very excited Daisy slid down the banister while a more slower Bobbi came down the stairs holding a handkerchief to her nose. "And the father of the bride is looking dapper this afternoon."

"Thank you, Daisy," Coulson thanked.

"Looking sharp, Uncle Phil," Bobbi complimented as she approached him.

"I am sure my looks pale in comparison to Jemma's, however." The bridesmaids said nothing more as they used nonverbal cues to gesture to the top of the stairs. They were gone by the time the bride had made her way downstairs to greet her father. It's not like the father noticed the absent bridesmaids however, his eyes were reserved for the woman he would be giving away. "Jemma," he kissed her hand, "you have never looked more beautiful." Struggling not to tear up, Jemma flung herself into Coulson's arms. With a gentle laugh, he released her from his embrace, "are you ready?" He held out his arm.

Jemma smiled as she linked her arm into his. "Are you?"

"I'm just grateful you didn't slide down the banister," they shared a laugh before they started to walk down the aisle.

Waiting at the end of the aisle beside Friar Mack, was the groom (who did not look as excited as everyone else). Fitz kept visual to the ground and tried his damnedest not to look up as the bride walked down the aisle. But he did. _God, why did she have to beautiful?_ Jemma was smiling at him as if it was a smile reserved just for the man she would marry, but Fitz could not do the same for her.

"Who gives this woman in marriage?" Friar Mack asked.

"I do," Coulson answered. Mack nodded in acknowledgment. The governor gave the bride a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting in his reserved seat up front beside May.

Mack turned to Fitz. "Have you come here today to marry this lady?"

A serious Fitz looked forward and responded with a cold and bitter, "No." Naturally, this response garnered some whispers among a confused crowd.

Coulson stood up. "This man comes to _be married_ to her. Friar Mack is the one who marries her." That got a few small (somewhat pitiful) laughs.

Mack turned to Jemma. "Do you come here to be married to this gentleman?"

"I do," Jemma's response was only serious in intent.

"Is there any one here who has any just cause why these two should not be married? Let them speak now or forever hold your peace."

"Do you know any just causes, Jemma?" Fitz asked her.

Jemma blinked back surprise. "No."

Mack looked at Fitz. "Do you know of any?"

Coulson stood up again. "I am sure that our groom does not know any either," again, more small (still somewhat pitiful) laughs.

"Governor," Fitz began, "are you giving me your daughter freely?"

"As freely as she was given to me."

"And what should I give you in return for your most cherished and prized of possessions?"

"Grandchildren!" Hunter's response received more welcoming laughs. One person not laughing, was a scowling Fitz.

Jemma noticed Fitz's mood. "Leo?" she reached for his hand, but he ripped it away from her. "Why are you--"

"Don't think you can play me for the fool," Fitz's words had taken Jemma aback. "By all outward appearances you look innocent—blushing like a virgin—but you are no virgin."

Coulson cleared his throat and went over to Fitz attempting to take him aside. "Fitz, if you were the one who-"

"Oh, you think I'm the one who she shared a bed with?" an irate Fitz waved his finger in Jemma's face. "Never once did I seduce you or tempt you with indecent words. I have treated you with modest sincerity and appropriate affection."

Jemma stood firm despite the tears pooling in her eyes. "And have I ever seemed less than modest or inappropriate towards you?" Fitz scoffed at her. "Why are you making such claims against me?"

"Because I saw what you did last night!"

"What did I do last night?"

"More like _who_ did you do last night!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about! I have been completely and utterly faithful to you and we're not yet married!"

"And we are not going to be married either!"

"Duke," Bobbi went over to Trip, "talk some sense into him, please; he'll listen to you."

"What is there to say?" Trip's equally serious reply got everyone's attention. "I arranged for a good friend of mine to marry a common whore." This got the audience in a surprised uproar.

"Well this wedding just got more interesting," Hunter commented to himself.

Mack whistled loudly for attention. "Would someone please explain what is going on?"

Fitz pointed to Jemma as he addressed the crowd. "I saw her! Last night at her bedroom window I saw that woman being intimate with another man. I saw it, the Duke saw it, Garrett saw it; the man called out your name for God's sake!"

"I was not with any man last night!" a visibly distraught Jemma was trying to defend herself.

"Can anyone dispute my claim?" Fitz asked the audience, but no one answered. He turned to Jemma. "I know what I saw! I wish I had dreamt it, but I didn't!"

"None of this is true! Why would I be with any other man when I love you, Leo?"

He stared at her for a moment, but then tore his eyes away. "I wish I believed that, Jemma." Jemma stood frozen in place shedding tears.

Garrett started leading Fitz away as Trip approached the shocked governor. "I wish it didn't have to be like this, but the truth had to be known." Trip made his way toward Fitz and Garrett and they started to leave.

Overwhelmed by everything, Jemma collapsed to the ground. "JEMMA!" the bridesmaids instantly dropped everything and ran to her side.

A worried Fitz did turn to see what was going on. When he heard Daisy cry out "Oh my God, she's not breathing!" he tried to hurry back to her, but Garrett stopped him. "She's not worth it," he said to Fitz before leading him away.

Fitz wasn't the only one to hear Garrett's words. Hunter and May had heard them as well. "Did you see that?" Hunter asked May. "Fitz was going to come back for her! He still loves her!"

"None of this seems right," with a glare, May watched Garrett. "And I have a strong feeling John Garrett is behind this."

"Give her some air!" someone cried out.

"What, she's alive?"

"You go over there," May instructed, "I'll see to it that everyone leaves."

Hunter nodded and hurried over to the scene. Bobbi was on the ground holding her now conscious cousin up while a worried Daisy waited at Jemma's side. "Thank God."

"Jemma," Coulson knelt in front of her, "were those accusations true?"

"No!" Jemma sobbed. "I wasn't even in my room last night; I fell asleep in the library!"

"Then why would they say those things?"

"I don't know!"

Mack helped her to her feet. "You should take comfort knowing that I believe you. The love you have for Fitz is genuine and pure and you speak nothing but the truth. I see this all in your eyes. You yourself are genuine and pure and speak nothing but the truth, and yet these men who care for you slander your name. Do you know why that is?"

"No," her answer was calmer, but she was still shedding tears.

Hunter made his way to Jemma. "If it helps any; I believe you too."

"You do?" After Hunter nodded, Jemma hugged him—giving him somewhat of a start. "Thank you." Hunter patted her head as a comforting gesture.

"This still doesn't explain why two men of honor are making such wild claims," Mack noted.

"Maybe they'd take it all back if they were guilted into doing so," a bitter Daisy remarked.

"Young lady, you have just given me an idea." Mack directed the focus to Coulson. "Everyone at this wedding heard that Jemma collapsed to the ground and was not breathing. I say we let the people think that she has died." Everyone gave him strange looks. "Hear me out: not only will the men who slandered her feel remorse, but the people will grieve and pity the poor young woman who was killed by cruel words. Jemma will be the prime example of not knowing what we value until it is gone. The people will speak only of her virtues and every aspect of life will seem more beautiful. And it will more than likely get everyone to stop talking about this supposed indecency with another man."

Coulson sighed. "What have we got to lose?"

Hunter approached Coulson. "I swear, good Sir, I will side with the Friar and your daughter. I do not know if that will bring much comfort to you, but-"

"Thank you, Hunter." Coulson thanked. He then extended his hand for Jemma to take and led the poor girl inside. Daisy and Friar Mack followed.

Bobbi, however, had stayed behind. "Do you really believe that?"

"Of course I do," Hunter answered her in all honesty. "I saw Fitz try to come back for her, but Garrett stopped him. You'll notice Garrett's the only other person to bear witness beside Fitz and Trip, but his word is the least likely compared to the other two. I never did trust the bastard. He has been known to create a little chaos here and there."

Bobbi surprised Hunter by taking his hand. "Thank you for this, really. I forgot there was this caring side to you."

Hunter grinned. "And it is rather nice when you don't insult me." Bobbi rolled her eyes. "All joking aside, I like seeing this side of you; the side that…that I fell in love with."

"Are you still in love with me?"

Hunter placed a chaste, yet tender kiss on her lips. "Does that answer your question?" This time, Bobbi was the one to initiate a longer, more passionate kiss. "Oh, I forgot I liked that too!"

"Well there's plenty more where that came from."

"I don't know whether to be terrified or turned on by that."

"Are you truly loyal to my cousin and I?"

Hunter seemed surprised by this. "That question seem to come from nowhere."

"Answer it, please."

"I told you I was."

"I want you to prove it."

"How?"

"Destroy Fitz."

"I suppose that is less severe than _killing_ him."

"Then do that!"

"Excuse you?"

"Fitz deserves to die! Getting up there pretending everything was fine until he did that to Jemma!"

"He did try to go back for her."

"If only I were a man; I would rip his heart out in public and eat it."

"Good Lord." Bobbi repeatedly began to punch the nearest object she could find (an assortment of wedding flowers). "Bobbi, calm down! You don't mean any of this!" Bobbi managed to stop and let herself fall into Hunter's arms and cry. "Ssh," he tried to soothe her by stroking her hair, "everything is going to turn out alright somehow."

"But Fitz hurt her so bad that he hurt me too." Bobbi let out some sort of angry cry. "I want him to feel as great a pain as Jemma and I do!"

"And he will, I promise. I want to inflict as much hurt on the person who hurt you." He cupped her chin and raised it so that they made eye contact. "I love you, Barbara."

Bobbi smiled, but then she stamped on Hunter's foot. And while it was a playful gesture, it still hurt. "If you love me: you would know never to call me Barbara."

"Okay, I get it; don't joke during serious moments like this."

She pressed her lips to his cheek. "And for the record, Lance, I love you too." She then proceeded to blow her nose much to Lance's disgust.

"Hey, I'm not going to get sick now, am I?"


	7. Act II, Scene II

In the Messina jail, Billy and Sam Koenig stood alongside the shackled prisoners as Eric stood a bit uncomfortably over the sexton's shoulder while she wrote.

She cocked her head to him. "Do you mind?"

"Sorry," Eric backed away from her and went over to the prisoners. "Well, well, well, it seems we are all disassembled here."

"Could you _not_ talk?" an irritated Ward asked him.

Eric turned to the sexton. "Take note that the man prisoner is being belligerent to the Chief of Security."

"I am amazed that you used that word properly." Eric scowled at him. "Lady Hill, all of this is ridiculous! We have committed no crime!"

Maria read over her notes. "According to the watchmen's statements: John Garrett paid you to have sex with this woman standing next to you—provided that the woman was pretending to be the governor's daughter." She stood up and directed her attention to the prisoners. "The last time I checked: identity theft, prostitution, and acting as accomplices in any sort of devious plot were crimes. And If Kara did not go along willingly, you Mr. Ward, could also be charged with rape." Ward glared at her. "That is three official crimes and one potential crime."

"I admit my doing in this plan," Kara confessed, "but I agreed willingly to have sexual relations with Grant Ward."

"Well actually, now that I think about it, there is a fourth crime: I have received news that the woman who was slandered has died this afternoon as a direct result of this plan. Congratulations, you two killed an innocent woman."

"This was all John Garrett's plan!" Kara was quick to place blame.

"Yes, and he seemed to have fled—which makes you all look even more guilty—the greatest offense I can have you both charged with is being accessories to murder."

"You can do nothing!" Ward restrained his anger.

"Not unless the Governor decides to press official charges; which he very well may do after he meets with you this afternoon," and with that, the sexton turned to leave.

"What?" Kara was not too thrilled with the idea. "No! No, I cannot face the governor after what I have done."

"Then you should have thought of that before you did what you did," Eric remarked back before he walked in front of Ward. "What was that about not having committed any crimes? Because I counted four!"

Ward rolled his eyes. "The head of security knows how to count; what a surprise."

" _Chief_ of Security."

"Call yourself whatever you want, you're still an ass."

Billy and Sam couldn't help but laugh when they saw the offended look on their brother's face. "You know what," Eric turned toward the exit, "I am going to get the sexton back here to make a note of that because I consider _that_ a crime!" He tried not to cry as he called for the sexton.

…

May opened the door to Coulson's study to let Trip and Fitz inside. "What do you want?" Coulson coldly questioned them.

Trip stepped forward. "We have come to inform you that we will be leaving tomorrow morning. I figured that a thank you for your hospitality would-"

"Would what? Bring my daughter back from the dead?"

"With all due respect, no one could have predicted that would happen."

Coulson looked at Fitz, and Fitz looked away. "I must commend you, Fitz, for overcoming your fear of public speaking."

"Leave him out of this, Sir!"

"Why should I? This was his fault after all! The boy who uses his words as weapons," Coulson rose from his desk. "I for one would like to see how he holds up in actual combat."

"Are you challenging him to a duel?"

"To the death."

May then literally stood in the middle of Coulson and Trip. "Phil, calm down before you do something you'll regret."

"I will show no such emotion to the men responsible for ending my child's life."

May turned to Trip. "I suggest the two do what Garrett did and leave. Do not anger this man any further or you will also have to deal with me"

Trip exhaled a breath. "Very well," Trip turned to leave and guided Fitz with him.

"Did I do the right thing?" Fitz asked him.

"It might not seem like it now, but in time it will."

"That woman we saw last night was not the Jemma I knew."

"Love can make a man blind to the truth."

"And the truth is I still love her. Granted, not as much, but-"

"Oi, you!" Hunter was fast approaching Fitz. When he was next to him, he shoved him.

"What the-"

"You, me, duel, now! Right here, right now. Let's see how you do with actual weapons."

Trip folded his arms. "You are loyal to the Governor now?"

"He's not the one who killed an innocent woman. Come on science boy, fight me!"

"Let's go Fitz," Trip put his arm around Fitz's shoulder and started leading him away, "Lance Hunter is even crazier than we realized."

"Jemma's death will be avenged!" Hunter called after them. "You are not going to get away with this!'

"They seem a bit more dramatic than usual," Fitz observed.

"Coulson has just cause to be," Trip noted. "Hunter is more than likely loyal to Bobbi and she wants to see you suffer just as much as Coulson."

As they walked outside, they noticed three identical men bringing forward a man and a woman in chains. "Is that Ward?"

"And Kara," they met with the security and prisoners.

"Duke Trip," when Eric bowed his brothers followed suit, "it is an honor for you to grace us with your presence."

"These people are among my group; why are their hands shackled together? What crime have they committed?"

"Four crimes actually."

"Five if you count the guy calling you an ass," Sam felt the need to playfully remind him.

Eric twitched in irritated anger, but kept control. "Irregardless, they have committed crimes."

"What are their crimes?" Trip inquired.

"Aside from this man being mean to Chief of Security, they have lied."

"What about?"

"Well, to be fair they did confess after they were caught, but at first they lied."

Ward groaned. "I will confess to everything if you will kindly shut this ass up!" Billy and Sam snickered.

Facing the Koenigs, Trip put his hands to his lips as a gesture of silence. Once they stopped, he directed the focus to Ward. "What will you be confessing to?"

"Garrett paid me a great deal of money to carry out a fiendish plan. Furious that his first attempt to convince Fitz that _you_ were in love with Jemma did not go to his liking, he went ahead with a new plan to ruin the wedding. He showed me a wig that was given to him by a mystic clairvoyant; the wig looked was strikingly similar to Jemma's hair. Kara donned the wig and disguised herself as Jemma. What you saw was actually Kara and I having relations in Jemma's bedroom." Fitz felt his heart sink at these words. "We had no idea this would lead to Jemma's death; Garrett only did it to cause mischief and chaos. Kara and I take responsibility for our parts and will accept any punishment that does not involve listening to Chief Idiot speak."

Fitz let out an anguished cry and fell to his knees. Trip kept a poised demeanor, but also had a great deal of remorse. "I once considered you honorable, but you have brought disgrace to us all." He lowered himself to help Fitz up, but Fitz pushed him away.

"Leopold," Ward used Fitz's given name, "I am truly sorry."

"I would not speak to him ever again if I were you." Trip glanced at the criminals. "However, you two show remorse and admit your wrongdoings while the one wholly responsible has fled. I will ask that your punishment be less severe."

"I am serious about not listening to that Eric idiot though."

When they heard approaching voices, everyone turned to see Coulson make his way toward them with Maria Hill. Maria gestured to Ward and Kara. "These are the two who are partially responsible."

"Four," Coulson eyed Trip and Fitz, "I still consider those men a guilty party in my daughter's death."

Fitz rose and slowly went over to him. "I accept your challenge to that duel to the death."

Trip tried to talk him out of it. "Fitz-"

"I give you every right to-"

"It would not be fair to avenge one death with another," Coulson interrupted. "You can also beg and beg for forgiveness, yet I sincerely doubt you shall receive it." Fitz bowed his head. "However, I do have something for you to do as a way of making all of this up to Jemma."

Using Jemma against Fitz was the clincher, and Coulson knew it. "What do I have to do?"

"Seeing as though you cannot resurrect her from the dead, you and the Duke can save her good name by telling the world the truth. You will speak this at her memorial service tonight—the service that we are now having in lieu of the wedding reception."

"Understood."

"There is one other thing: Melinda May has a daughter from a previous relationship with the counselor to the former leader Nicholas the Furious. Tomorrow morning, instead of leaving, you will marry May's daughter. If you do that, I will let the revenge die."

Fitz swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded. "You are too kind, Sir."

Coulson acknowledged that with a nod before turning to Maria. "Maria, I want you and your men to find John Garrett and bring him to me."

She nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"See you tomorrow at the wedding?"

"Yes, Sir," as a gesture of goodbye, she nodded at him. Maria then proceeded to head over to the security crew. "Come along, boys."

"Oh sexton," Eric was heard as they walked off, "I want you to make note that this man," he pointed to Ward, "called me an ass again."

Maria let out an aggravated sigh. "We have been over this, Eric: name calling is _not_ an offense."

…

Hunter was pacing about reading over a piece of paper. "Bloody hell, I can't write poetry to save my life," he crumpled up that paper and tossed it into a pile of other crumpled papers. "Is there a proper rhyme for 'she-devil'?"

"Hunter!" an excited Bobbi ran to him and threw her arms around his neck.

He stumbled backwards a bit, "It's good to see you too, Bob," he pulled her off. "What's got you all excited?"

"Jemma is innocent! John Garrett hired some people among Trip's entourage to slander her. And everyone who doesn't know the truth still believes her to be dead!"

"That is rather exciting. Well, not the whole slandering, dead Jemma part; but the other thing!"

"The truth will be known at the memorial tonight. Fitz was so distraught that he accepted a duel to the death just so he may die."

"Ha, ha!" Hunter spun around in glee. "I told you he still loved her!"

"And Fitz agreed to Coulson's arranged marriage."

"No!"

"Yes!" Hunter let out another excited laugh as he scooped Bobbi into his arms and spun her around. After a moment, they soon became serious again.

"I uh," Hunter took this as a cue to set her down, "I wanted to thank you for challenging Fitz to your duel."

"It was nothing, really."

"Nothing? Hunter, that proves that you still love me." She held his hand. "And I love you for that."

"Are you certain you can love a thoughtless chatterbox?"

"I did at one point."

"And you still do?"

"I still do."

"You love my terrible qualities?"

"Let's not go that far."

"Be honest: which of my bad qualities did you fall in love with first?"

Bobbi grinned. "All of them at once."

As they leaned in for a kiss, they were interrupted when Daisy ran in. "Bobbi, come on the mourners are arriving!"

"Perfect timing, Daisy."

…

Friar Mack presided over the memorial that evening. He stood in front of a closed casket as he spoke. "Earlier this day I was asked to preside over a joyous celebration, but this very same night I preside over a somber one. Before we begin: our noble Duke will speak on behalf of himself and Leopold Fitz."

Trip stood up and addressed the crowd. "Leopold Fitz has asked me to speak on his behalf for fear that he will not be able to properly speak to you all without breaking down. Truly, he did love this woman. Love can make a man stupid, blind, and love can even deceive when used against him. That is what has led to our fair Jemma's untimely death this morning on what should have been a happy occasion. I will not name names, but someone who thrived on mischief and chaos tricked Mr. Fitz and I upon witnessing a false sight that unfortunately led to where we are now. No one meant for this to happen, nor should it have happened. Especially to an innocently beautiful young woman who was always honest. Speaking for myself, I wish to apologize for my part in this and pray that Jemma be at peace among the heavens for now she is an eternal angel. We have all spoken words of praise about her and if I did the same it would be rather redundant." Trip paused for a moment. "I asked Leo if he would like for me to recite what would have been his vows, but he has chosen to keep them to himself. He asked me to tell you that he now, and forever, will love Jemma. Thank you." Now that he was finished, Trip went over to Fitz and together they stood in front of the casket. Trip patted the casket as a sign of good faith while Fitz placed a rose at the center. "It would have been appropriate to read your vows for her; are you saving them for your new bride instead?"

"My vows were for Jemma," Fitz just stared at the casket. "She will be the only one to hear them."

"I understand."

Fitz fought back tears. "Can you get me away from here before I lose it?" With a nod, Trip began leading his friend inside the house.

From a balcony, Jemma and Daisy stood watching. "This is kind of amazing to be honest. Not a lot of people get to see their own funeral," Daisy noted. Jemma seemed to ignore her. "Jem?"

"Poor Leo," Jemma breathed.

"Hey, if Fitz really loved you, he would have gone through with the wedding despite what he saw. I mean, the guy made someone else speak for you at your own memorial service."

"I understood why he did what he did and I cannot fault him for any of it."

"Well he kind of killed you by doing what he did."

"I wish I could be with him tonight; he needs me so."

Daisy put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You'll get your chance. You two are destined for a fairytale ending and you'll have it."

"Do you really believe that?" Daisy nodded. "Thank you."

"Uh-oh, they're coming this way," she guided Jemma inside. "That could have been a disaster if he saw you."

"Perhaps he would have thought he had seen my ghost."

"Either way, you're dead and aren't supposed to be seen." Daisy opened the door and made sure the coast was clear before grabbing Jemma's wrists, "come on, you're staying in my room tonight, no exceptions."

"I suppose it's for the best."

"We should probably get to bed early though; we have a wedding tomorrow morning."


	8. Act II, Scene III

"I have to say," Mack stood behind Coulson the next morning, "you even had me believing your daughter was dead. You spared no expense to make it seem that way."

Coulson smiled. "What can I say: I have a flair for the dramatic." Mack laughed at that. "In all honesty: I hold no grudge toward Fitz and the Duke. Granted they should not have made such a huge deal out of what they saw, but they are innocent men."

"Do you think John Garrett will be brought to justice?"

"I know he will."

"And his cohorts? Surely you do not intend to keep them in prison when the truth is reveled?"

"Let them serve time for the identity theft and solicitation charges. I don't want to take any chances and release them until after all of this is over and done with."

"Understood."

"Oh, and Friar?"

"Yes, Governor?"

"Is my tie on straight?"

"Oi, Mack!" Mack wasn't the only one to turn when Hunter called. "No, not the casual 'mac', I meant _Friar_ Mack," the bystanders went back to minding their own business.

"Hunter," Friar Mack addressed the man calling for him.

"How's about I let you in on another secret?"

"Hunter, for the last time you need to see a doctor about that-"

"NO!" Hunter cleared his throat. "No, nothing like… _that_. I was wondering if I could borrow your services."

"For what?"

"For something I think you're going to approve of."

"And it doesn't involve me looking at your-"

"Oh my God, I will ask a doctor about that later!"

…

Once everyone had gathered in the backyard for the wedding, Trip and his men made their entrance. As it usually was, Fitz stood beside the Duke.

Coulson was there to greet them. "Good morning Duke. Good morning Fitz."

"Good morning," Trip answered back.

Coulson focused on the sour looking Fitz. "Cheer up Fitz, it is your wedding day after all." Fitz kept quiet. "Have you decided whether or not you will keep your promise to marry May's daughter?"

"I always keep my promises," Fitz responded a bit coldly.

"So you are not going to change your mind?" Fitz shook his head no. "Good boy," Coulson tilted toward the back door of the house where May was waiting. After giving her a nonverbal signal, May opened the back door and led four women in similarly designed outfits—each carrying a different flower—toward the makeshift altar. The first woman wore black and carried a lily, the second wore blue and carried a peony, the third one was in white and held a rose, and the last one had on a pink dress and carried a daisy. Each of the women also had a veil covering their face.

"Which one is the lady I'm supposed to marry?" Fitz inquired.

May took the hand of the girl in the white dress and presented her to Fitz. "This is she," May took the rose from her, "and I give you both my blessing."

Fitz squinted to get a better look at her. "Am I not allowed to look at my future wife?"

"No," Coulson answered back. "Not until you take her hand and swear to marry her."

When Fitz took the girl's hands, he took it back in surprise. There was something all too familiar about her touch. Come to think of it, there was also something familiar about the rose she had been holding. "No," he whispered in disbelief.

As he reached to pull back her veil, May stopped him. "You heard what the man said." She linked the girl's hand with Fitz's. "You have to take hold of her hand and swear to marry her before you look at her."

"I already promised I would."

"Then why don't you tell that to _her_."

Fitz looked the girl in the eyes—not like he could tell with the veil covering her face. "I would never force a lady into doing something that she does not want to do, despite what others say. Yes, I have agreed to be your husband, and I will, but only if _you_ want me to." When the girl pulled back her veil, audible gasps rang throughout Messina. Fitz, however, was too stunned to even make a sound.

Jemma had the same smile on her face she wore the day before—the smile reserved just for the man she would marry. "I would love nothing more than for you to be my husband."

Trip visibly amazed by this. "Is this the very same Jemma that died?"

"She was only dead while her slander lived," Coulson replied. "The truth had to be known before she could be restored to everyone. Of course, we also had to make sure our intended groom still loved her."

Fitz didn't take his eyes off of Jemma. "I never stopped loving you."

"I know," Jemma told him.

"Jemma, I-"

She put her finger to his lips. "I made a pledge to give myself to the man I love. That, Leo, is you; it has always been and always will be you." All Fitz could do was smile. "I believe this is your cue to speak."

"In this moment I'm afraid I've forgotten the entire English language."

"Then if you can't speak, allow me to your accept your proposal," she pressed her lips to his as he held her, not wanting to let her go ever again. The kiss lingered on amidst the celebration of the crowd.

"Ahem," the reunited lovers did not notice Mack had been standing behind them. "I take it you two wish to marry?" Leo and Jemma each laughed as they nodded. "But I still have to ask if anyone here-"

"Oi, Mack!" everyone turned to Hunter. " _Friar_ Mack," everyone glared at him. "No, I'm not objecting to this marriage; I just want the Friar to hold on a tick."

"Are you really going to do this now Hunter?"

"Damn right I am!" Hunter approached the remaining veiled women. "Which one of you is Bobbi?"

The blue-dressed, peony holding woman stepped forward. "You honestly couldn't recognize me, Hunter?" Bobbi removed her veil. "I'm the tallest one here."

"Do you love me?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm asking you in front of all these people if you love me."

"And in front of all these people I say that I love you no more than reason," the crowd did not believe her.

"You say you don't love me despite me hearing these men," he gestured to Fitz, Trip, and Coulson, "swear you said you loved me."

"What about you Hunter? I'm asking you in front of all these people if you love me."

"I love all women, but I love you no more than reason as well," the crowd booed him.

"Then Daisy and Jemma have been deceived because I heard them say that _you_ loved me."

"I love you the way that I love all women."

"And I love you as a friend."

"So you don't love me?"

"And you don't love me?"

"Oh, they love each other," no one had noticed Fitz and Jemma had snuck off until they re-entered from the other side, each holding a piece of paper. It was evident Fitz's paper had been crumpled as Fitz held it for all to see. "Because I found really terrible love poetry written by Lance Hunter to one Bobbi Morse."

"I knew I should have burned those," Hunter muttered.

Jemma displayed the paper she was holding. "And while I stayed in my friend's room last night, I discovered my cousin's journal with a recent entry confessing her love for Lance Hunter."

Bobbi turned to the girl in pink. "Daisy, you stole my journal?"

Daisy took off her veil. "I was going to give it back."

The final woman, Maria, removed her veil. "Didn't you say the same thing to me when you 'borrowed' the criminal ledger from the records vault at the jail?"

A busted Daisy nervously fidgeted. "I'm going to give it back eventually."

"But now Fitz is going to give that back!" Hunter tried to get the terrible love poetry back, but Fitz had managed to give it to Bobbi. And when Bobbi smugly smiled a victory smile, Jemma handed Hunter the recent love-confessing journal entry. Simultaneously, the former spouses read over their respective papers. "I suppose our writings give our true feelings away."

"Yes, but at least my writing's more legible and contains less grammatical and spelling errors."

"So uh…" for once, Hunter was struggling with words, "do you want to get married again? I mean we're both dressed for it."

"I would only be marrying you again out of pity; I only love you as a friend."

"And I love you the way I love all women."

"But at least we could learn from our previous mistakes."

"Third time's the charm."

"It's second time's the charm, Hunter."

"I should just shut up so you can kiss me now."

"Damn right you should" Bobbi and Hunter kissed as everyone applauded.

"Wow," again, Hunter was speechless. "I say this calls for a celebration. Let's party!" Everyone cheered.

"We can celebrate after the now _double_ wedding," Coulson noted.

May then surprised him (and a lot of other people) when she said, "I say we party first."

Before the celebration could begin, Lincoln came running in. "Governor! Duke! They've caught him!"

The Koenig Brothers led a shackled John Garrett into the backyard. "Didn't think we'd find him, did you?" Eric smirked.

Maria stepped forward. "How did you find him?"

"We arranged a deal with the prisoners in exchange for this man's whereabouts. Long story short, we're letting them out of jail tomorrow. On another note: Sexton, you look really pretty in a dress."

"Yeah, well don't get used to it," the Koenigs expressed dismay at that. "Seriously, you guys need to find some girlfriends."

Trip inched closer to Garrett. "Despite you being the man of few words: _I_ have nothing to say to you. However, I do not wish to put a damper on this happiest of days so I will decide your punishment tomorrow."

"Wait," Fitz spoke up, "I've got something to say." He stunned everyone by punching Garrett square in the face—even drawing a little blood). "I think that about sums it up." The Koenigs led an injured Garrett away.

Hunter was in awe of this. "Science boy packs a powerful punch."

"Okay," Coulson had the biggest grin on his face, "now we can party!" The band began playing and everyone started dancing.

Fitz held out his hand to Jemma. "May I have this dance?"

She gladly placed her hand in his. "I suppose I should honor the hero with a dance." They began dancing. "I can't believe you did that."

"Honestly, neither can I."

"Garrett did have it coming though, ruining our first wedding like that."

"I thought I kind of ruined our first wedding."

"Well yes, but I can forgive you because I love you."

"I love you too."

"Leo, you don't mind sharing our special day with Hunter and my cousin do you?"

Fitz looked over at them. "I guess not," then he looked at Jemma, "just so long as I share it with you." And with that, they kissed.

"Oi, Bob," Hunter noticed when Fitz looked at him and Bobbi, "I don't want no punch to the face—or anywhere else for that matter—so remind me to stay on Fitz's good side."

Bobbi flashed him a seductive smile. "I'd rather you stay on _my_ good side."

After a beat, Hunter spoke. "You know maybe we should have the wedding now."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"So we can get started on the honeymoon night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rose Jemma was holding was the rose that Fitz had placed on her grave in the funeral scene. I didn't know where to put that in the dialogue, so I'm telling you here in case you didn't catch on.


	9. Epilogue

The sound coming from the nearby alarm clock broke Hunter from his fantasy and brought him into reality. "Ugh," with a groan, he got up and readied for the day. At some point during his preparations, a realization dawned on him. "I understood Shakespeare," he (quite literally) dropped everything he was doing and went to find his ex-wife. When he did see her, he ran past her. "Bob!" he then ran back. "I understood Shakespeare!"

Bobbi didn't look all that impressed. "Yeah, there was a modern translation right next to it."

"You and I both know I barely read that."

"But you evidently read enough to understand it?"

"It's hard to explain, but it's true. I had this dream-"

"Let me guess," she proceeded to mock Dorothy Gale, "'and you were there'."

"Yes! Yes, you were! We all were! It was like a movie in my head except it wasn't!"

Bobbi flashed him an uncertain look. "Hunter, do you ever listen to yourself?"

"It was that Shakespeare story you made me with with us as the characters."

"Oh," Bobbi couldn't help but be a little curious, "who was I?'

"The leading lady."

"I was Beatrice?"

"Yes."

Bobbi groaned. "Oh God, don't tell me you were Benedick," Hunter snickered at that name. "Honestly Hunter, grow up."

"Yes, you were Beatrice, I was...the guy who ends up with Beatrice. Coulson was like the King, Trip was the prince-"

"Trip?"

"Yeah, he was the prince."

"Good call there. However, there was no king in _Much Ado About Nothing_."

"Well Coulson was the dad."

"Who's dad? Beatrice's dad or Hero's dad?"

"Beatrice had a dad?"

"Yes, it was Antonio, Leonato's brother."

"I honestly have no idea who those people are."

"So helpful."

"The dad who's daughter was getting married to that one guy."

"I'm guessing Coulson was Leonato then. Okay, who was the villain?"

"John Garrett. You remember; we met him once before the whole Hydra takeover."

"Never liked him then, hated him even more after that. I figured the bad guy would be Ward though."

"Ward was _a_ bad guy."

"Totally understandable. So was Mack like Dogberry, because I could not see that happening?" Hunter gave her a blank stare. "Was Mack the stupid cop?"

"No, Mack was the friar. The Koenig Clones were the inept security."

"Makes sense. So, were FitzSimmons the other lovers?"

"Naturally."

"How could they not be?"

"Daisy and May were in there too."

"As Margaret and Ursula?"

"Again, I have no idea who-"

"Never mind." Bobbi smiled at him. "Well, it seems as though our own Lance Hunter understood something he read."

"Truth be told, that always happened when I read. I'd read, get bored and skim through it, and later, I understood what I read." Hunter made some sort of noise. "God, that hasn't happened in a long while. It's probably why I stopped reading."

"See, reading can be a good thing." She started to go.

"Bobbi, wait!" Bobbi turned to face him. "I was thinking maybe you and I could…hang out or…maybe we could do something that doesn't involve reading."

"Sure, that'd be great."

"Great." They smiled at each other before parting ways.

…

Coulson had both of his eyes on the TV carefully examining what was on it. "No, I just don't see it."

"Come on!" Daisy stretched her arms to the screen. "That guy looks _exactly_ like you!"

"No, he doesn't."

"What? Have you-" she growled, "-this guy is like your doppelganger!"

"Let it go, Daisy."

"Ugh, I never should have brought up that movie yesterday. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here convincing you that this is like your alternate reality clone!"

"You're right."

"I am?"

"You shouldn't have brought up that movie yesterday. Next time, might I suggest you just read the book?"


End file.
